Let's Make a Deal

Dolphins and porpoises are mammals. They must come to the surface to breathe. Thus, some would say they are shallow, ocean dwelling creatures. I’m an orca (This ocra, in fact, dorsal fin and all) – I seal deals.

Deal Breakers - something that you absolutely cannot and should not look past. Deal breakers are a must. If you don’t know what you don’t want, you won’t realize you have what you don’t want before it’s too late to not get involved (quintuple negative). Therefore, it is vital that YOU establish your own deal breakers. I’ll share a few of mine … the list keeps on growing, my lungs are getting weaker and my blowhole smaller.

In no particular order:

1. The Frisbee – If you can’t successfully toss a Frisbee more than ten feet three times in a row, get lost. Men like coordinated women. I suggest you purchase a Frisbee and practice with a close friend. It’s all in the wrist … I’m told that’s important.

2. The V-Card – Ok, so most people don’t hold a full deck of cards, but I’m willing to share what cards I do hold. I’m honest about it. I’m not proud, but I’m not ashamed. Mating is natural and courtship is beautiful (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=727sx5cCxqA&feature=related). Detailed description is not needed. Just be honest and upfront. The sooner this topic is broached the better. Refusal to discuss and/or lies will break any deal.

3. Shoes – Ashley, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. Ashley showed up at my apartment with transparent heels. Lights flickered and flashed with each step. I walked her to her car and said goodnight. When it comes to shoes, do as Dr. Jones did, “Choose Wisely.”

Do you have deal breakers? Care to share ...