Visualize This

My baseball coach use to tell me to visualize the ball hitting the bat, the ball flying over the fence, and me running the bases. My coach was an idiot. I never hit one homerun in my entire career. I visualized homerun after homerun and rarely even got to 2nd base.

Let this be a lesson to all of you "players" out there. If all you do is dream about homeruns, you will be dissapointed when you hit for a single or double. Be happy that you got on base at all.

One time I just asked my date, "Wanna go on a walk?" She said yes. I then pitched four balls and intentionally walked her. That day I considered myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.