The last "Would you rather ..." poll question has closed. It was the first of its kind on TRB (The Rules Boy). With its close comes a new era: the dawn of poll analysis. There will be many more. Please take the time to vote on the next poll. I will publish results, analysis, and interpretations as I see fit.
The question: Would you rather …
Eat a pad of post-its
Eat a roll of scotch tape
Eat a piece of cake that tastes like poo
Eat a piece of poo that tastes like cake
Clearly, two things can be deducted by this poll. First, only 13 people will survive some sort of disaster that leaves only office supplies, cake, and poo to eat. Second, over 50% of the world population likes the taste of poo.
Spending money is hard to do. Spending it on someone who you are unsure about is even worse.
10. Play video games. Girls love this. I especially recommend Halo. 9. Make-out … and whatever else she will allow. 8. Find some water and a floating device. Use your imagination.
7. Yoda or Pilots. These are apparently some kind of stretching exercises that women enjoy. 6. Workout. Go to the gym and show her your max bench. 5. Trade clothes and walk around your "downtown." You'll fit in. 4. Shop, try on crazy stuff, take pics – do NOT buy anything. 3. Retail Paintball – hide out and shoot customers walking out of large retail giants (Wal-Mart, Target, etc). Show them who’s boss! 2. Job Shadow – have her come to work for a day. 1. Cancel, Ditch, or be a No-Show.
Honorable Mention:
Dress up as football players and have your pets fight.
Dear Rules Girl, Important: I don’t wish to be rude, but I must put this plainly: Don't wink at me or any man in which you are interested. This will drive him away faster than a Turtle named Pip. Did you know that Lou Gehrig (a Yankee American Legend) got his big break when the current first baseman for the Yankees (Wally PIPP) sat out a game because of a headache??!!?!
Morals to this story:
1. If you are going to wink at a man, you better be darn sure he likes your eyes.
Learn how to wink correctly.
Wink with the left eye only.
Right-eyed winks mean something too terrible to publish.
2. If you have a headache, don’t sit out.
Lou might take your place.
Take some medication.
Whine about it and tell everyone you know. Guys love this.
Rules Girl, I enjoy, often agree with, and appreciate your posts. In fact, sometimes I am even inspired. It’s no secret The Rules Boy was established only after reading The Rules Girl … I mean, come on, what a clever name, right. True, most content contained within the realm of Rules Boy is – whimsical, nonsensical, magical, mystical, mythological, irrational, fanciful, fantastic, futuristic, sexilicious, supernatural, extra-planetary, logical and rational – a look inside the male mind.
One of its purposes is to provide the ever-growing Rules Girl readership a few checks and balances. You know, the “rules” from a male perspective. “The Boy” is right-side up. The “Rules” are upside down (see blog tittle ... Oops - title).
Important to note, men are always right ... just ask us. Of course, there is something to be said of delivery and tact; however, people choose to be stung or choose immunity to bee venom. This may be a scientific difference between male and female minds and might be best portrayed in The Princess Bride.
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned. Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Let’s raise a glass: Cheers, Rules Girl, to our differences.
Shock, stun, ding your own bell. Life can become a little too comfortable at times. I am in need of change. Before bed last night I decided to take a page from George Costanza. Today I have been trying to do the opposite of what I would normally do. This is the highlighted report thus far:
I woke up in the middle of the night at 4:00 AM. I wanted to go back to sleep – I got up and did push-ups. Then, I quickly realized that I was doing push-ups and I recognized the opposite … so then I did some sit-ups. I stopped and wondered if I should try to do some pull-downs or stand-downs. I worked up an appetite. I knew I shouldn’t eat, “I can’t, but I must,” I thought. I could see this was getting out of foot, so I made burritos for put-together-slow.
Pay far attention: I dressed myself for play. Jeans, T-shirt, boat shoes – believe it. I found myself behind the mirror brushing my teeth. I swallowed, frowned, and said, “You are such a man-saver.”
Work: “Bad night. You’re there,” I said to my co-workers (no one said a word to me the rest of the day). I took lunch at 11:00. I wasn’t hungry, so I ate lots. I completed my work promptly, and a second ago I was reading a newsletter update from HR. I sent a text to a friend I never wanted to talk to again, and I changed my Facebook status to something completely false. I logged onto MySpace … imagine this, Ha!
Do something you normally wouldn’t do and report. I can’t wait to read the results.
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