The Unbeatable Six Rose System

This is quite possibly one of the most important technical intricacies of dating, so pay attention. Whenever you take out with a girl for the first time bring six roses.  Since you don’t know how the date will go beforehand this will enable you to prepare for any scenario possible.  Each rose will be a different color and will convey a different meaning or emotion, this will help you look sensitive, not to mention that girls melt when guys they barely know give them roses.

Here is the breakdown of the six roses:

Red Rose: Red is the universal color for passion and romance.  If you felt a chemical or emotional romance on your date, then this is the rose.  Red rose also symbolize loveliness and beauty, so if you can give her credit for nothing besides being physically attractive enough to be asked on a date, this would also qualify her for a red rose.

Pink Rose: This color stands for admiration or appreciation.  If you felt like she left you wanting more then give her a pink rose.  Being adorable also deserves a pink rose.

Yellow Rose: This rose symbolizes friendship, lets her know not to have any expectations in the future.  It can also symbolize jealousy, if she texted or took a phone call during the date—yellow rose.

White Rose: If you want to really get out on a limb go for the white rose.  This one symbolizes purity and honor.  This means you intend to go the distance and represents your willingness to commit.

Orange Rose: Orange roses symbolize enthusiastic and passionate desire.  Reserve this rose for a girl who managed to turn you on during the first date, let her know you’re ready for whatever’s next.

Purple Rose: If you found yourself mesmerized by her whimsical glances and the song in her voice, then give her the purple rose.  Purple represents enchantment or love at first sight.

Remember, give her the rose at her door at the end of the date.  Explain to her briefly why you’re giving her that particular rose, so the expectations can be set for the next rendezvous. Every first date can be categorized among one of the six roses, I hope this is clear, they are not more complicated than the six rose system.  Remember, dating is a ritual, practice makes perfect.

Top 10: Musical Make-out

It's time to get down to business (subtract "to business"). Here are 10 songs to set the mood. Play this song when you think the time is right and you might get some lip action ... or more. I have a feeling people are going to be very opinionated about this topic; thus, I've tried to include many genres of music.
Note: I've spent countless hours listening to music while thinking about naughty things in order to compile this list. Also important to note, I considered many suggestions ... only 10 could make the list. Lastly, keep in mind that there are many different types of "making out."

10. Bend and Break - Keane
9. Take Me On The Floor - The Veronicas
8. Happy Together - The Turtles
7. Put It On Me - Ja Rule
6. Mmm Bop - Hansen
5. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
4. Somebody Loved - The Weepies
3. I'd Rather Dance With You - Kings of Convenience
2. Breathe - Faith Hill
1. When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge

Honorable Mention(s):
YMCA - The Village People
Yellow - Coldplay
Awake - Secondhand Serenade
Take My Breath Away - Berlin
Return to Innocence - Enigma
Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers
Let Me Put My Love Into You - AC/DC

Well, what do you think? Speak your mind. If you have something nasty to say, email me: therulesboy@gmail.com. I may release a Top 10: Serenade Sex list in the near future ... Thoughts?

On a serious note.

This may come as a shock to many of you, but I was married once.  My marriage failed, it wasn’t anything either of us did, sometimes a union is dissolved by something as simple as “Marriage Failure”.  Complications of the nuptials, it happens.

I have always been a rules boy, this has been true from the beginning and will remain true to the end.  Lest we forget.

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”  My ex-wife recited this incantation on the morning of our wedding and performed the physical ritual it describes.  This protected our marriage on only a single front.  Unfortunately my dear friends, marriage has two fronts, just like the Nazis in WWII.  We must come up with an incantation combined with a physical ritual to protect us from the supernatural forces that constantly threaten to destroy marriage and the family.  No, I’m not talking about homosexuals and feminists, I’m talking about the Russians!  The Russians being a metaphor for Marriage Failure!  Raise awareness!

Don’t even think about getting married before this is resolved.  Here’s something I thought up that might do the trick, let me know what you think:

“Something wild, something round, something styled, something you found.”

I was thinking my Julius Caesar craft crown I found backstage in my high school drama class could count as all three.  No, you can't borrow it.

Any other ideas?

Edgar's Crows

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Crow_Baker
I've often pondered a phrase given to me by a friend: "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw." What if my name was Moo or Roar?? (More to come on this later). The point I want to make is simple. Real women are not crows. They don't call at me like cows do ... well, nevermore.
What kinds of persons do you attract?

Here's what I usually reel in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loS8aF-yPy0

Top 10: Are You Serious?

In honor of a friend that works for and occasionally stars on the Letterman Show, I've decided to periodically post top 10 lists. This first list includes 10 sure-fire ways you can determine the status of your relationship as -- SERIOUS. Keep in mind, this list is mostly for men, but many entries apply to the opposing gender as well. Enjoy, give feedback, agree or disagree, laugh or cry - just don't tuck your shirt into your jeans.

10. You kiss in public ... and you enjoy it.
9. You decide what you're doing with her on Saturday … on Saturday.
8. You can hear yourself think because it’s quiet, but it’s not an awkward silence.
7. You pick your nose, she watches, she picks hers, and the two of you pick happily ever after.
6. She used to cook for you regularly.
5. She starts suggesting baby names … it doesn’t bother you.
4. Kissing/Making out doesn’t last very long. There are bigger fish to fry.
3. She’s buying you “cute outfits.”
2. She skips out on “Girl’s Night.”
1. No more Gas Pains – dinner for three, please: Me, My Lady, and Flatulence.

Honorable Mention: You like her without make-up.

See what a professional had to say:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/most-obvious-signs-know-serious-relationship.html

Blind Dates

We’ve all been set up on blind dates before.  If not then you don’t have any friends who care if you ever find true love and you also don’t date online.

Whether you’re meeting a girl from eHarmony or a friend of a friend, the first impression is critical.  Study these:

1)     First of all, meet in a public place rather than going to her door or her coming to yours, it’s safer this way and if you are not attracted to her then you can just tell her she’s mistaken you for somebody else and go home.

2)     Bring something to keep you occupied should you arrive first (a book, cell phone game, roller skates, etc.) you don’t want to stand there awkwardly, repeatedly looking at your phone in ringxiety.

3)  Wear sunglasses, this way you can stare people in the face who might be your date without them sensing your gaze.  She may look different in real life than in her profile picture, it's unrealistic to count on recognizing her at a glance.  Once you’ve made a positive ID you can act cool and aloof.

4)     Shake hands, no hugs for first meets.

5)     Before you go anywhere, get out your wallet and count your money.  Bring about $400 in cash whether you plan on spending it or not.  Cash money always impresses.

Warning: If you are taking out a girl you met online do not disclose any personal information, 1 out of 4 online dates leads to stalking and murder.  Don’t be a statistic, use a fake name until you feel comfortable.